Bad Shield Collection
by Crystal Dawn
Summary: A collection of short stories from the Bad Shield prompt community! Episode One: Orihime is an adventurer in a fantasy world, but she's bitten off more than she can chew when she explores a red dragon's cave!


**Title:** Bad Shield Collection, Episode 1: Dragon Slave 1  
**Warnings:** het (IchiHime), medieval fantasy AU  
**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to a lot of Japanese people, namely people like Tite Kubo and Shonen Jump. You'll notice how none of those are me. Not responsible for epileptic seizures or allergic reactions. May contain eye-and-brain-bleeding levels of radioactive ANGST and/or peanut products. Please sit a reasonable distance from your computer screen.

**Author's Notes:** This isn't so much a new story, per se, as it is a collection of short fics made for the LJ IchiHime prompt community, Bad Shield. I don't know if I'll continue this particular short fic (although I might – it's too cute and reminds me of when I used to play HackMaster), but I don't want to make a separate fic for each short story, either. So here this is! This first one is for Geithe, who requested "Medieval Fantasy AU" as a prompt!

* * *

As the rough-hewn rock door swung slowly open, Orihime licked her lips. Her brow pinched together beneath her golden diadem and her mouth pursed. The red-haired adventurer pushed the heavy door open with some effort, the look of concentration intense on her face. Her physical strength stats never were very high.

As soon as she could slide through the opening, though, what she saw disappointed her. This particular chamber of the cave system she'd been wandering through was barren, devoid of treasure, maps, armor, weapons, or anything interesting at all. There wasn't even any broken junk or old campfires for her to poke through. Since when were other adventurers the tidy sort?

"Awww," she pouted, folding her arms beneath the gold chain mail that covered her generous breasts. The links jingled, brushing against the rubies that were set into the metal; she'd discovered the expensive golden bikini in a buried antechamber of the ancient king of Esthylus's pleasure palace. And even though it didn't look very sturdy, it provided her all the protection she ever needed. For some reason, orcs, bandits, and wild animals only ever attacked her in the places her skimpy metal bikini, boots, and arm braces covered.

"Hinagiku, Baigon, Lily!" she called into the dim cavern. Three tiny blue lights sparked off of the Choker of the Six Petals around her neck, cutting the number of jeweled petals in the center by half. The lights floated in front of her for a moment before coalescing into three full-formed pixies. One was reedy and thin with a fly-away ponytail and an eyepatch, pressing his bony hands together and bowing to his mistress. The second was a large and bulky male who looked like a well-oiled body-builder in a face mask. And the third was a thin, pink-haired girl with buns and a tiny bikini like her mistress. All three had translucent wings, fluttering faster than the human eye could see.

"Yes, Mistress?" all three chimed at once, their wildly different voices rising in a cacophony. Orihime favored the three of them with a bright smile.

"Could you Detect Magic, please?" she asked kindly, invoking one of the spells they helped her perform. The fairies snapped to attention before flying off to different edges of the room in a large triangle. A bright glow formed between them, casting the entire room in the golden light. After a few seconds, Orihime saw something sparkle in a far corner, buried beneath a small pile of stones and rubble.

"There!" she chirped happily, rushing over to the pile of rocks and dirt beneath which the glittering object rested. After a bit of digging with her hands, she unearthed something which looked rather unimpressive at first glance.

"What is it?" Hinagiku asked, peeking over Orihime's shoulder with the other two pixies.

"It looks like a collar," Lily mused as Orihime studied the metal ring attached to a long chain.

"It looks too big to be a collar," Orihime responded, turning the large metal piece over in her hand.

Before she could consider it further, however, the entire chamber she was currently kneeling in shook beneath her knees. Her pixies zipped back to her choker with several alarmed squeaks, re-completing the six-petaled aquamarine flower. The violently shaking floor and tumbling dirt and rock caused Orihime to fall on her rump, jangling her metal bikini.

"Owie!" she cried, planting her hands on the floor behind her to steady herself. A second later, the rumbling and shaking quieted a bit as a roaring voice echoed off the chamber walls.

"_**Just who the hell is out there?**_" the deep voice raged, causing Orihime to cover her ears with her little hands. The back wall of the cavern began to crack, long fissures spider-webbing from floor to ceiling, before blowing out entirely.

"_Santen Kesshun!_" Orihime cried, the three pixies returning and forming a glowing shield before their mistress. They weren't a moment too soon, as a giant fireball blew through the debris that had been the back wall of the cavern a few seconds prior. Fire filled the entire cavern, heating the metal bikini against Orihime's skin and making her sweat. Seconds seemed like hours as she waited for the heat and flame to disburse, and after a good half minute or so, it finally did.

Timidly, Orihime peeked around her shield to see the giant hole blown in the back cavern wall. It led to yet another room, where she could hear something large moving around with giant, angry footsteps. Even worse, it felt like an oven back there; she could hear and feel the stir of the air as something seemed to be moving it back and forth, as though breathing or using a bellows. Even so, she poked her head around the crumbling rock to look into the chamber beyond.

It was amazing. Even though there was fire all along the walls, casting an orange glow around the room, she could clearly see mounds and mounds of sparkling gold, silver, platinum, and all kinds of gems. There was every kind of weapon piled along the walls, suits of beautiful armor (all for men, she noted with some disappointment), gold cups and plates, and even a few beautiful statues of gods and goddesses she didn't recognize. And finally, there was an angry red fire-breathing dragon coiling and uncoiling in the middle of the room, staring Orihime down with an angry glare.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, noticing the dragon at last, "Umm, is this your cave? Eh heh, I didn't realize anyone lived here! I'm sorry, I'll just be go-"

"**What the hell are you doing in my cave?**" the dragon breathed, causing Orihime's hair to singe on the tips a little. She held the newly-split ends up with her fingers and looked sadly at them; that'd take a few hair care spells to repair. She looked back up at the dragon, whose narrowed golden eyes were glowering down at her, and pouted a little.

"Well, I-I was looking for treasure, but I'm really just a priestess for the cat goddess Lady Yoruichi, so I mostly only know how to heal and do support spells, so..."

As she stammered out her explanation, the dragon propped his long snout up on one of his taloned hands to boredly listen to her. He even yawned, his hot breath hitting Orihime in another heated blast and silencing her.

"Umm, I'll... just be going, then," Orihime said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with one hand. She moved timidly back the way she came, hoping the dragon didn't blast her back towards the entrance of the cave.

"**O-Oi!**" the dragon protested as she started to move, "**How the hell are you just going to leave? You just got here! You come in here, make a lot of noise, make a mess, and then you aren't you even going to fight? Damn, what kind of adventurer are you?**" He removed the clawed foot from his jaw and pounded it against the floor, causing several pieces of gold to shake loose from their piles and clatter to the ground. Orihime felt sweat trickle down her back from the heat and her own nerves.

"I'm not really a fighter," she explained shyly, "And my party's all back at the inn. They were tired and didn't want to explore out here, and really, I should be going back now..."

She turned her back to the dragon, still looking at him over her shoulder as she tried to creep back the way she came. Irritated, the dragon snorted at her, singeing her hair again and making her squeal.

"**Nuh uh, no way,**" the dragon said, reaching for her, "**You're going to get your friends or the villagers and tell them about my horde here. Then I'll be annoyed by treasure hunters forever!**" He stretched one long claw towards her back, meaning to turn her around...

...and grabbed the back of her bikini top instead.

The chinks of gold metal snapped like cheap tin, causing the front of Orihime's tight metal bra to pop loose, freeing her large breasts. They bounced freely for a split second before she moved to cover her chest with a shriek, kneeling on the cave floor. And as for the dragon, as soon as he saw the girl's jiggly bare flesh, he moved to cover his golden, serpentine eyes, hiding them behind his claws.

"**O-Oh god, I'm sorry,**" the dragon stammered, sneaking a little peek from between his talons, "**I wasn't trying to... I didn't mean...!**" If it was possible for a dragon to blush, this dragon sounded like that was exactly what he was doing.

"S-_Souten Kisshun!_" Orihime cried, causing two little pixies to fly away from her neck and cover her in a shining dome. Slowly, as if reversing time, the clasps came back together on her golden bra, supporting her large breasts once again.

"**Look, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything, I just...**" the dragon stammered, uncovering his eyes when he was sure it was safe. Unfortunately, the girl didn't seem to be responding to him. Instead, she was trembling and sniffling. "**Oh gods, don't... don't cry!**"

"Tsu... TSUBAKI! _Koten Zanshun!_" the priestess yelled tearfully, causing one more pixie to fly out from her choker and zoom straight towards the dragon's triangular head. The poor dragon was too surprised to do much but gawk as the little black-clad boy pixie began to land blow after blow to his pointy dragon ears.

"**H-Hey, knock it off, ya little gnat!**" the dragon protested. It was less of a growl and more... whining. If Orihime noticed, she didn't let on like she did. She was too busy being mortified.

"I'll teach you to abuse the Mistress!" the angry pixie shouted, landing his thirtieth punch on the dragon's head. Meanwhile, the two healing pixies were watching, bemused.

"Mistress, what's that you have in your hand?" the one with the blond ponytail, Shun'o, finally asked. Orihime looked up to the tiny creature who had stopped his magic once her bra was repaired and blinked a few more tears away.

"Oh, this?" she asked, oblivious to the dragon's anguished cries behind her, "I don't know - Lily, Baigon, and Hinagiku found it, but I think it's broken..." She held it up to the healing pixies for them to examine. Shun'o and his quiet partner Ayame examined it.

"Do you want us to cast Repair on it?" he finally asked, "It looks like that dragon's collar..." As if on cue, the poor dragon's head dropped to the ground of the cave, eyes rolled back in its head and tongue lolling to the side. Orihime's eyes widened as the three companions watched Tsubaki stand triumphantly over the beast he'd just defeated, propping his foot up on one long, golden horn.

"Yes, please," she nodded, carrying the collar over to the unconscious dragon and positioning it around his long, scaly neck, "Shun'o, Ayame - Repair, please!"

The little pixies immediately went to work, casting their glowing magic barrier over the collar. Almost immediately, their spell began to work as the metal knitted back together. As soon as the collar was once again complete, though, something unexpected happened - the dragon exploded in a bright flash of white light.

The three fairies zipped back to Orihime's choker in fright as she shielded her eyes against the brightness. When it finally cleared, to her surprise, the dragon was gone. In its place was a young man about her age with bright red hair, something of a tan, and who was completely unconscious. But quite possibly the biggest downside to this was that the only thing the man was wearing was the broad gold collar that Orihime's pixies had just repaired.

She grabbed both cheeks with her hands, her face turning crimson at the sight. Sure, she'd been an adventurer for a while and had seen more than her fair share of crazy stuff, but she had never actually seen a naked man's bare bottom!

"I should've known!" she wailed, finally covering her face after getting a complete eyeful, "Of course he'd have a human form! I should've brought clothes with me!"

* * *

"And that's how he joined our party!"

Orihime's four companions looked distinctly nonplussed, as well as the redhead sitting beside her at the inn table. She didn't seem to mind, though - in fact, she seemed to find the entire story rather amusing.

"I _told_ you not to go wandering through that cave system by yourself," the petite black-haired girl across the table reminded her. She looked as if she might develop a headache at any moment. Orihime sure hoped not; she had pretty much cast every spell she was able to for the day during that little adventure.

"A-Ah, Rukia, please don't stress yourself out over it," she said with concern, "I don't think I can use Souten Kisshun again today. I have to regain my mana..." The mage simply put her small hands on her hips and huffed.

"And whose fault is that?" the party leader groused. The monk beside her pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and surveyed the dragon boy warily from his spot beside Rukia.

"I can pick up the slack for the rest of the day," the thin man said coolly, causing Orihime to show a grateful smile in his direction.

"Thank you, Ishida!" she chirped happily. She didn't notice the huff and bit of red dusting that colored the dragon's face at the sound of her voice being so friendly towards the warrior monk. She also didn't notice the satisfied smirk that same monk gave the newcomer, causing him to grit his teeth.

"So, newbie," the large man with the even larger serrated sword strapped to his back said, folding his arms behind his spiky red hair, "You got a name?" The dragon turned towards the other redhead; he liked him marginally better than the monk to his left.

"Ichigo," the dragon mumbled, disliking their scrutiny, "It's Ichigo." He wasn't used to this many people all at once, and to tell the truth, that was part of the reason he'd never wanted Orihime to go get help; he was an incredibly socially awkward dragon.

"Mine's Renji," the battlemage across the table from him informed him, letting his chair come to rest all four legs on the floor as he leaned forward.

"Nice t'meet you, I guess," Ichigo muttered, scratching his cheek. Was that how these things went when you weren't trying to eat the person you were talking to? Or accidentally tearing their clothes off?

"Nice armor, Ichigo," a deep voice sounded beside him, belonging to a hulk of a man with wavy brown hair and a deep tan. Ichigo briefly wondered if he might not be a half-orc with the way he was built. Either way, he sighed in something akin to annoyance.

"Thanks," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his shining gold chestplate, studded with diamonds and rubies and inlaid with intricate fire and dragon designs. Orihime leaned across Ichigo to speak quietly to the brown-skinned berserker in a loud whisper.

"He's sensitive about the armor," she said seriously, loud enough for the rest of the table to hear unintentionally anyway, "He's not wearing any underwear and it really chafes!" As all eyes turned to the dragon boy, they could swear they saw a few sparks come out of his ears.

"ORIHIME, YOU PROMISED NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!"


End file.
